Living Out Loud Is SO MUCH FUN!

Search Amazon.com for saving christmas

So Thanksgiving is over and I am so recovering today! It was so worth it though. There was so much to do and so little time it seemed to do it all in.
We began by going to the Methodist Church in our area to help deliver food to the hungry in our community and were sent to Bearden, Arkansas to find the people that might get lost in the system to deliver food to.
Did I mention I forgot my money and that my car was almost on empty when we arrived 20 minutes and 20 miles later in the Methodist church in Bearden? But you know what? It was so worth it. We got our huge box of both dinners and desserts and headed out to the deepest parts of the tiny town where trailers outnumber housing and many people still live in abject poverty.
What really touched me was as I was passing out the last of the boxes of prepared dressing and cranberry sauce, we drove deep into the woods to find a family outside of their trailer. I pulled up and told them we were delivering food to those in need would they like a plate.
The woman who was sitting on a bucket turned around to look at me and said "You a God send that's better than the grilled cheese I was bout to make for us"
THAT was all I needed right there. To know I made a difference for one family.
They had nothing and living deep in the woods I was able to find them and offer what had been prepared for those in need.
Let me ask you this simply and quickly.
In the scheme of this crazy thing called life did you ever stop to not go to Black Friday and watch the stampede of people to things? I never said that we cannot buy them or celebrate the holidays. We just need to get back to the real reason why there is this season. But you need to make sure that you know what that is. Should we not be trying to get connected to the Universe, God or source more? Spending time with family and friends more and enjoying and savoring all that IS life? Why would we want it any other way?
I challenge you this year to celebrate the holidays, buy gifts, but then celebrate life to the fullest.
Pinky promise me Ok?

Til Next Time ............there has got to be a way to live and be loved and love and live now with or without the shopping. Lets see if we can do that.

Mamma (Y've)

LG Optimus 7 Is Awesome!

This is a Sponsored post written by me on behalf of LG. All opinions are 100% mine.
Looks like I am going to be replacing my cell phone ! The LG Optimus 7 is the phone I have been looking for! With its Windows 7 operating system, 16GB memory and the capability to surf the net along with tons of room for pictures and ebooks, this is exactly what a busy mom like me needs!
There are also great features for connecting with all of my social media networks which is the life of my business.
The LG Optimus 7  also has this great advance 5MP camera with Panoramic viewing so I can get it all in! I love that since I totally have to carry my digital camera and my camcorder with me at all times for shots for my blog!
Do you guys know what that means? I can leave some things at home and just use this great LG Cell phone! Since this phone is as slim as it is I can travel a lot lighter too.
I think I am going to like this new addition to my business life. My life is my business you know and right now I need all the help I can get and it looks like this LG Optimus 7 is going to be an excellent addition to that.

Till next time,

Mamma (Y've)

The Butts Have It! Boudreaux's Butt Paste Does The Job

This is a Sponsored post written by me on behalf of Boudreaux's Butt Paste. All opinions are 100% mine.

Being a mom of four children I have seen some interest back sides to say the least. When Timeka was a baby 20 years ago I was told use petroleum jelly that will do the trick. . She kept little red bumps and finally I think that was caused her to potty train , the poor thing was tired of being chaffed! When Imani was a baby she KEPT a diaper rash no matter what I did I could not keep her from getting one. But then Imani was a very juicy baby of the best kind that just wanted to be loved on. With her rash, broken skin and all she finally removed her diaper at one point at a very young age maybe ten months old . There was nothing I could do to keep the rash from returning. No ointments nothing or may be I was just a  young goofy mom with no clue what she was doing. Who knows?

Fast forward to my new batch of babies. Lili and KJ really had it the best. I was in a local grocery store when I saw this yellow display in the middle of the aisle with that name that made my two pre teens laugh. Lili couldn't have been a year old at the time. I just knew I wanted to do it better this time around with everything for my new baby so I grabbed a small bottle and have been a fan ever since. Before KJ was born Boudreaux's Butt Paste was already purchased in both tube and regular jar size.

Boudreaux's Butt Paste does what it says it will do. It protected my babies from rash, irritation, and chaffing from diaper wear. All I had to do when I was changing their diapers was wipe it off with a simple cleasing wipe and reapply a fresh coat.

Here is the best part about Boudreaux's Butt Paste. Now that KJ is three years old and Lili is seven, I still use it. I keep a bottle in my purse that travels well for scrapes or skinned knees. I keep a jar on my dresser for the occasional abrasion or rash they still may have. I have even noticed Imani will come in and still use it for make up removal which I never thought of but she does it.

I know  that this was developed by a pharmacist with the help of a pediatrician which is good because their experience helped make a cute product that smells great. I also figured heck it has zinc oxide in it so for  poorly tweezed eyebrow attempts and the occasional kitchen burn might as well keep a bottle around right?

I am not telling you anything I heard I am telling you what I saw and experienced with this product. My personal experience with Boudreaux's Butt Paste  is nothing but positive. This saved my poor two little ones from a life as infants with diaper rashes and chaffing. 

From our current use looks like Boudreaux's Butt Paste has a permanent place in our family for other uses as well. If you want to try it for yourself go to their website and and a get a sample sent to you today!

Advice From Mama That Child Support Thing

Being the provider, protector and the supporter of four children has an affect on you. Somewhere in the middle of that you have to make a decision that you are a human being.
Let me explain. You have all of these people that you are solely responsible for so you have to make sure that everything is taken care of. Household bills, car notes, insurance, life insurance, relationships with exes about their children if that be the case and so on. Somewhere your needs get lost in the process.
So when an absent parent is unable to fulfill their financial obligation to a child I find that something that scratches me raw.
I find it hilarious that men or women who fuss about "I don't want to pay for this or that for him/her (meaning the custodial parent)"
That is when the green eyed monster in me comes out. From a person who has been a single parent for well over 20 years without adequate and proper support it tickles me pink to hear people say that they don't want to pay ME for taking care of what WE created.
Let us be clear before I go on my rant, rave and utter of the day. I am fine. All children are supported by absent parents. However it was not always that way.
I was schooled by an older woman when I was struggling alone and in college with two children.
Here exact words to me was this, "How dare you not get what is due to your children. I spent my life giving my children to family and friends because I couldn't take care of them. I ate cornbread and pot liquor because while he was out somewhere eating steak and buying new clothes for another woman and her children."
She went on to say, "If I had it to do over again, I would have taken their asses to court and stood there until they were locked up or in jail. You must never allow your fear to keep you from getting what is due you and your children."
Recently I had an opportunity in my older age to talk with new single mommies out there. Many of them are not able to continue on with college or are about to graduate from high school. All of them get no support from absentee fathers of which every one of the fathers have jobs are in college and have purchased new vehicles and live rather well.
I gently encouraged them of a few things. You cannot sit idly by believing that you will get the support that you need. There is no point. It is evident that you will not be getting what you need from them. What I suggest to you is what was suggested to me. Get what is due and owed to your children.
This is not about you getting your hair and nails done. This is about you providing the best possible care for your baby and the way that can occur is if he is supporting that child financially in conjunction with what you are doing. This will HELP you be able to have extra money from your own pocket to do things you may want to do.
I say to you this; go down to the child support office and apply, register do whatever is necessary to get the ball rolling. Then once the application is in stay in their face until you get what you need.
That child support office has so many cases that yours may get lost so get proactive and find out who is handling your case. Once you know stay on them. Find out the status on a regular basis ask how you can help. Always be professional and nice. Keep your composure when it seems like there is no end to the process because eventually it will be over and you will have what you need for your child.
Normally that will be the much needed financial support and health insurance.
Do not ever allow doubt, non belief or fear to keep you from what is your child's birth right.
This is not about you getting even. This is about you getting the help that you need from the parent that is not there. What this is also not about is getting someone back or causing them problems. Always keep your child or children in the forefront. They deserve the best no matter what.
One last thing. Keep your emotions under control and get what is needed for your children. This is about THEM. Keep that your focus, ALWAYS.

Just some food for thought.


Til Next Time,


Mamma (Y've) Search Amazon.com for child support

Truffles, Training Bras and Scratched Love Songs

In the midst of being mother to four children of different age groups I sometimes get the chance to be a woman. Let me be clear on that. I get to date and hang out with people my own age who are of the opposite sex. I enjoy that time with them and like being able to be treated to dinner a movie or just some time out alone with out the children.
The one thing that we cannot forget especially as parents and really single parents who are focused on their children is that we have a life outside of them.
I know I know. All hell is about to break open because I admitted that I have a life outside of the people I carried for nine months a piece if not more inside of me. I am not ashamed to admit that I have something else outside of my kids.
Recently in my older more mature age I have had to make some decisions that will affect the rest of my life. Because of career choices I never really thought about marriage or a long term relationship. I just kind of went with the flow of things. Now things are different. I am older, I am realizing that one day these children are going to grow up and have a life of their own. They are all exhibiting that now through school, day care and other activities.
So I thought it was ok to begin seeing people. Now I don't believe in having people around my children that have no intention of being there for the long term I will say that but I started experiencing a great emotional attachment to one of my shall I say "beaus".
After an evening of talking and dinner and discussions on life I surmised that this person may not be in the best interest of my future nor my family since I am the Mamma and I am ruler of all in this domain.
I immediately took it upon myself to run to the store and buy a box of chocolate truffles and a bottle of champagne. Aaah what a rare occasion but this warranted a major pity party of the greatest kind.
I promptly pulled out my champagne glass, got my box of truffles, turned on a mix of Will Downing, Chrisette Michelle, Luther Vandross, Anita Baker, NDambi and a host of others and just laid back in my easy chair in the dark.
Pondering over the evening events with my door to my space in the house closed, I needed to clear my head and say that it was ok to have feelings and emotions, I got my big girl panties on so they say and I was going to have my pity party tonight, enjoy these truffles and my champagne, listen to my soft love music about heartache and pain and joy and laughter, and feeling love and sex and mad passion and all of that.
I took a bite of a truffle and let the smooth texture hit my tongue and linger on there for a second as I sipped the champagne.

Woe is me set in and the passion and emotions of the feelings of being in this place of making grown folk decisions and being ok with that set in. So I grabbed another truffle and sipped some more getting into the music as Maxwell said "Submerge into the light...." I was in that zone man where its just you, your emotions, your thoughts about whom ever or whatever. I am sitting there in the dark leaning back into the music,... just deep off in it. The champagne is easing some of the pain and making me relax a bit about my decision and my thoughts. I almost forget just for a moment that I am 40 with 4 as I call it. Then I get a wake up call.
All of a sudden in the midst of me being in my feelings I hear my door open, the light flicks on and I hear this,
"Mother, I know you don't want to hear this but ........I really need a bra. Do you uuuugh think you can buy me some tomorrow?"
I heard the sound of a record scratching as that sentence broke through the sound of love songs dancing in that room. It was Lili the flat chested seven year old saying she needs a bra. At 9 o'clock at night she was demanding my attention for what of course was ridiculous and unnecessary. I didn't say anything. I just looked around her to see a tiny hand reach up on my end table and grab the entire box of truffles and walk out.
KJ had just taken my entire box of sorrow soaking pieces of softness and walked out with them without even so much as a "thank you mother"!
I sat up fully and Lili was still sitting there looking at me peering through her glasses at me waiting for a response. I just dropped my head.
My pity party was over, there was no more room that day for me to indulge in a quiet spot for myself. I have been invaded by little people that have no concern or desire to know that I have a life outside of them. I am ok with that.
It just made me realize once again that yes I am a human being, I am a woman, a student, a business professional, I am a friend but you know what I am before anything else? Mamma. I chuckle at the thought because while I am needing to feel the connection with a person that is the same height or is taller than me my children see only me, desire to only be near me, follow me, look to me even in my times of need for their own.
I get out my easy chair and just go back to work because at this point the party was over and my chocolate truffles were being devoured by two little people in front of a series of SpongBob and iCarly.

What a wonderful world.....

Til Next Time.

Mamma (Y've)

Dollar General Results and Savings

Thanking It Forward

Isaac Staten's Fried Turkey "Eat At The Top"

This Thanksgiving I wanted to do something different. The title of this post is "Thank It Forward" and this week I want to find some people that have been in need and see about that need this week.
I have a list already of what I am going to do. I am not going to make it where it is an impossible deed for anyone, but really just based on some things I know are within my realm of things I can obtain and things I can do for someone else.
When I thank forward this week I want to be able to tell people exactly who they are to me and thank them for the level of love and support that they have given me in my life and over the years.
Let me explain this.
In Bible study last week Wendesday, my pastor here in town suggested that we thank it forward. I thought wow that's just like pay it forward almost. But he was saying it in reference to Thanksgiving the holidays and being just good stewards.
So I am making a conscious decision to Thank It Forward this week.
In addition to my rants and raves about saving money this year I want to make sure that I am clear that this season is not all about money. It's about more than that. It's what my pastor talked about in service about us being servants to one another, to this life and savoring the gift of it.
Well at least that's how I took it.
I know that we all want to have a good life but with this particular point in my life I am learning that a good life is not the things that we acquire because you ever notice when you get those things, the thrill wears off and you are ready for more? I have officially realized that we are in love with the passion and the thrill and excitement of the journey to get to that point that we have placed in our minds called "There" or "The Ultimate Prize" or "The Final Destination".
So to sum it all up, I am thanking it forward this week.
On Facebook I will thank it forward to friends and loved ones, I will thank it forward all over my community and in my family.
I'll tell you about it and if you see feel the need to join me Tweet your thoughts and what you have done to thank it forward.
In the end the world will be a better place.

Search Amazon.com for pay it forward


Til Next Time

Mamma (Y've)

Dollar General Savings This Week

Make sure that you take advantage of all of the sales happening during this holiday season! Lets have some fun saving some MERNIES!

KJ Finds Himself

If you are not aware by now I am the single mom of four beautiful children. I am mom to three daughters and one little three year old man child.
We call him KJ for Kevin Jr.
Until recent he was just the little fella that was sucking one finger and running around the house in nothing more than a pull up that he soon discarded for boxers. Yes my son has a preference in underwear even at this age.
KJ is quite the character constantly wanting all of my attention from watching me wake up in the morning and going to the bathroom to pee, or just following me from the minute he gets off the bus to the minute he goes to bed at night.
NONE of my daughters was like this at all. They were very independent and in control of their personal play time. NOOOOO not this little guy.
He seems to want my attention more than usual to the point where he was getting on my nerves from morning til night.
I hear people say "You will miss this time"
No hell I won't either! I rather liked knowing that my children could hold their own Really I do and I hope that he will one day get it that he will need to stand on his own.
I do think that he is starting however. Something profound happened the other day.
I was sitting in my office working and had been working for some time when I realized everyone was home and it had been quiet for about three hours. I got up to see where everyone was in the house and found Imani and Lili in the living room. Imani the eldest in the house of course was texting and using her laptop. Lili was watching the Disney Channel. KJ on the other hand was no where to be found and how I could tell was the silence.
I check the toilets, sinks, still no KJ.

I finally resolved he must be in a bedroom so I go around and sure enough there he was in his room at his little table seated in front of the television watching Nickelodeon!
He looked up and said "Hi Mother!" and smiled at me looking away long enough for me to hear the beginning of a Spongebob cartoon.
I walked away expecting to hear his little feet walking behind mine but they weren't there. I looked behind me and leaned back into the room and looked at him. He didn't even bother to look back at me he just kept watching cartoons.
I wondered at that moment how long would it be before he would be seeking cleats and a jockstrap and the love affair he has with me is gone? Not forever just quietly sealed next to his heart. A place NO ONE can ever get to.
Til then I think KJ is finding himself.

Til Next Time,

Mamma (Y've)

For Colored Girls Review

I'm impressed. That is first and foremost what I have to say. I was blown away how he (Tyler Perry) used the script from the play and put it into today's times. Very well done.
I want to first touch on the crowd that was there when I w...ent to go see it the other night.
I went alone so I would have no one going "Girrrrrrrl" and tapping me all through the movie.
I had my Kleenex ready too cause I had read the book in my SR year in high school cause I felt like it and really didn’t understand it till I had to read it for my African American Studies class in college. By that time Mama was going through some thangs and I was crying through the book having to put it down every few days.
I was disappointed in the people that said the movie was whack that they didn’t get it that they were sick of the spoken word LITERALLY throughout the movie you would hear whispers like this was a scary movie. AWWW new girl you COUGHIN? Oooo chile you know dat mean.
Any who.....
People didn't get it. That disappointed me and scared me because that lets you know since the theatre was mainly all female.
WE DON"T EVEN GET OURSELVES.
The couple sitting next to me kept talking and using their cell phones to check their face book status. SMDH. During this pivotal movie that told MY story on all fronts, it was like watching myself in all of those women,
I wished more sisters had gotten it.
But then again when you have no sense of who YOU ARE outside of what you think defines you as a woman, then my GOD what in the world did I expect?
So now my thoughts on the movie.
After a long drive home and crying over and over about parts in the movie that was speaking to me and I knew it I began to reflect on all of the sense. It is amazing how this movie and still the book spoke more to me because now that I am older I now realize that the brownstone represented ONE WOMAN.
Let me clarify that since I know not all of them living in the building but each one of the buildings represented a woman of an age group or another. However the one brownstone where everyone lived on the top floor to me represented the mind of us sisters. In each one of those rooms is like a portion of our past and what defines as and makes us.
We can lock our selves up in our rooms aka Anika Rose did after her ordeal refusing to come out but still living........Kimberly Elise did as well after her horrifying ordeal....she closed the blinds and waited for death to come. There was our young south African sister who played the hurt woman always seeking love by letting anyone getting in between her thighs and never really finding what she was seeking. Then there was the wise woman that had seen it all and had the wisdom to call it what it was even when it was the truth and it would sting. She is the woman many of US HOPE TO become one day. Complete and whole but still all with her broken parts. Each one of those rooms a woman has within her soul and that makes her.
I saw that clear as day with Janet’s character who was callous because something was off balance somewhere else and since she had no control at home she demanded it in the only place that she could her office.
Whoopi wore me OUT cause so many of us run to Jesus and HIDE instead of living. We won't let go......we never do holding on to all of this mess thinking this will protect us when all it does is choke us make us die slow unhappy deaths.
And Lord knows Loretta Devine and her STUFF OK?! Snap Snap Snap for that ladies. What was sad was the age she is in the movie and her gentleman friend. Still playing games and she still believing he would change when she knew the pattern she KNEW. and how many of us KNOW yet we continue to keep going? At WHAT COST to ourselves?
So.....this film is a defining film for mothers and daughters to see for sisters to see with aunts and cousins and girlfriends.
These situations are not unique to just black women but one this is for sure because we are almost like the species of humans that is rarely talked about or discussed outside of Oprah and her billions I was glad to see this movie done so poetically and not losing that important aspect of it by slipping the prose in between script. I love that part.
I was not sure if I was ready but then in life are you ever because I Knew since I had read it so early in life.
We are all of these women in one way or another and the brownstones made with strong brick represent each and every one of us as strong beautiful black women who have endured abortions, rape, beatings, bad work environments with shitty bosses, poor living conditions, a promise of college and a life that has become filled with babies instead. Secrets so horrible we dare not ever speak them again because of implosion it may cause in your life upon yourself.
We are like the phoenix soaring always above it all.
My deep tail saw all of that and felt it and cried the most yes CRIED when Phylicia Rashad said "Breathe" and Kimberly did for the first time really and realized her truth either live or die.
It was representative of me last year when my aunt came to visit me in the hospital when I first woke up from the coma and they still told my family to be on alert she is going to die. My BP never came over 46 over something but I can remember my aunt coming to me and as I lay there strapped down with a tube in my throat in my nose and in my trachea, tubes coming out of two places in my gut and so weak I could only open my eyes, she looked at me and said to me by my nick name "CROOK, now you gonna have to live, for those babies, can't no body do for them what you can. The only way you can live is if you
let go and breathe." When she said that they removed my tubes and she took a pillow, put it on my belly told me to cough and then breathe I couldn't. She said loudly and firmly "I'm not leavin til you BREATHE now BREATHE. I'm not letting you die." She took me sat me up with the remote lift on the bed and made me BREATHE. I cried like you would not believe because I felt less alive and leaning so hard on her I though I would suck her life out of her. But I took a weak cough and she held pillow close and I took my first breath off life support. It hurt like hell and at that moment I KNEW I was alive. Death was eminent had she not come in that day and made me do the one thing I wasn’t strong enough on my own to do.
I end with this.....how many sisters have you held to help them get through? Or are we busy talking about each other instead of holding each other up and holding each other accountable for LIFE worth LIVING?
Ladies....BREATHE, LIVE, and LOVE.

I dedicate this to the sister who didn't know TODAY that the rainbow WAS enough. RIP.
I will be praying for your family and their healing. 

Til Next Time,

Mamma (Y've)

A Mama's Daily Rant Rave and Utter Moment

All I'm going to say is this. Come on people we have got to learn proper etiquette and poise and when to use them!
What happened to CHARM SCHOOL?

Enjoy

Another Milestone ...40!

My little brothers and Me

Alright everyone I made it! Whooo hooo! I made it to the big 4 and 0! I am officially that number on the survey that asks you what age bracket that you are in and you scroll down hopelessly seeking out age 40-55 bracket! Wow.
I am in that age bracket where really you are still young but your body is saying things like "Ummm I don't think so buddy, slow it down"
I am in that age bracket where it seems like no matter how much I work out I am still more sore, more tired and still very, very, very soft.
I am in that age bracket where my tolerance for bullshit is null. Don't have it and don't want and when I look back on my life I can't believe I tolerated the shit I did. Yep I said it. I cursed and so what if I did? I'm 40, how bout that?
I am in that age bracket where people make decisions like second mortgage, or new car, more college or new husband? Do I open a new business or begin life all over again doing something totally going towards the grain I should have done in the beginning of my life?
This is a cool number really because I can tell the difference in my emotional self. I don't need your approval, permission or say so to go ahead and do what the unction in my mind is telling me to do. I don't need to allow you to have more space in my life than you deserve. And really doll, do you deserve to be in my space? Come on now.....
I am in this age bracket where what my kids do bothers me very little but if the need be I will move a tiny planet to discipline you when I have had enough and I will also love and nurture you when I know you need me most.
I am no longer this love starved woman who looked for that "feeling" to consider being in love. I am not that age where I thinking "house? check. job? does he like my children? check. does he like me? check. is he responsible? check. Can he support me and love me through thick and thin when no one else will, will he be there when I get sick, is this person not only my lover but my friend. Does he really give a damn about what people think about us when we are out in public. Better yet does he want to be seen in public with me? Does he care that my tits are not perked up on my chest like they used to be? Does it matter that I have some thinning hair along my hairline now? Is he the kind of person that will put me and my children first or does he still want to play games and pretend like we have all of the time in the world to play cat and mouse. Wait, wait....does he have a plan for his life that includes me? Or is he just passing through? If brother man is passing through he needs to pass me by. How bout that?
I will fire a client now. Yes I will. If you irritate me and allow me to lose my sense of peace and balance I will cut your tail loose.
I notice now that I am at this age I am happy with me. Where I am in this process of life enjoying the pieces that right now really matter. Family, love, friends that love you and have become family, my spiritual life what ever that may be for me.
I am able to cut people loose that are seeking to destroy me for whatever silly assed reason and now I know I can do anything I choose.
I love my life...where it is right now and I am ok with the process of starting over in this new space and time in my life to only go to another level. Not starting over in the sense of losing it all. I am start over because I officially realize that I have upgraded my software. I am an upgraded model of my former self.
I like that.
I think I will end with that.


Til next time,

Mamma (Y've)