Ok so this is my first post. Let me tell you something. All mothers no matter who you are need breaks from the family, from your husbands or boyfriends and from the kids.
Let me tell you what happened today.
It's Black Friday. The bestest most fun day in the world for me and the kids cause I get up early and we make a day of just hanging out and setting up the Christmas stuff and just being a family really.
Today was not the case. This morning I wake up to find that KJ (Kevon) has pooped his diaper and has pulled it off and is busy playing with his own poop in all kinds of interesting ways in his crib. Well I panic. I don't want him in that so pick him up, run him to the tub and yell to Imani to get up grab what is needed to make his crib sparkle again. Does she do that? No I'm in the tub with a grinning seven month old that does not know what he has done. The poop is everywhere its in his rolls, in his mouth, between his toes literally all on me now so I just climb in the tub with him and yell to Imani go ahead and get the diaper up and spray the crib down.
You are probably saying "Well why does she have to do it?" Because I said so......the only thing I was trying to do was get it done in less time. I have big children I could have done it but it was taking me twenty minutes to get him bathed alone. I needed her help.
She sloooooooowly gets the bucket and brings it to me. I tell her no get going spray the bed down put the linens in the wash.
Let me just say this by the time I had bathed him and put on his diaper and clean clothes and mine, Imani STILL had not done what I asked her to do. She was literally wandering around the room with a towel wrapped around her face to block out the smell.
I asked her what was she doing and she told me that she couldn't find the cleaners. mmmm ok it would be different if we had not been keeping the cleaners in the same area of the house under the sink in the kitchen for four years.
I politely handed her brother to her and did it myself which was ok. I can deal with that. But here is the problem that I had. I told my 13 year old child to get up and help me clean up a mess. It wasn't that serious but I gave her instruction and she literally took her time making sure that I was available to do it which I did.
Now the old me would have knocked her out but the new me said ok.....I'll do it but after I do it no shopping. No one leaves the house but mom.
I decided that I was going to take a day and so I did.
I packed up my laptop, my headset and my purse and cell phone and went to a local restaurant found a spot that would get an internet signal and went to work in the restaurant.
I stayed there for four hours. I sat there chilling sipping on Coca Cola and eating a grilled chicken sandwich on toasted texas bread and worked in the little lounge there alone.
I was so angry.
I walked around Walmart and bought nothing and I knew she needed new pants and Chrstmas gifts as a starter to put under the tree. But you know what I wandered around the store chatted with people then went home closed my door and took a nap woke back up checked on the kids and went back upstairs closed my door and went back to work on my laptop.
I needed a break. Seriously. Imani is at that age where its all about her right now. With Kevin gone on the ship 28 days when things are out of whack I do ask her to help out.
I don't think that there is anything wrong with that at all. I go out of my way to work my schedule around hers so she can go to her basketball games and do other things at school. I work extra hard so she can have nice things and I can't get you to help out?
No I have a problem with that when I am doing all that I can as a mom to help you have a little piece of a life in this tiny town.
So I decided today would be a great time for down time for me and I took it.
I decided to go in my office and work awhile then chill out for a moment.
I was so upset I ate a bowl of ice cream and had cheetos with it with chocolate! Aaaaack
Then I decided that I needed to not let this die. She needed to know that what happened was not cool and that if it happened again there would be harsher consequences bottom line.
I told her in no uncertain terms this would not happen again. If I tell you to do something that it just needs to be done bottom line. One day there was going to be a time in the very near future you are going to need something and you are going to be looking for me to provide that and since your dad is not here I'm the one you will be looking at.
We are a family and the bottom line is there will be other messes bigger than the one that we dealt with today but because of your nasty actions and how you acted you messed up everyones day you won't be getting the pants you need or anything else that you want. Why should I when you are not minding what I say? So figure out how you are going to get your own clothes. Better yet just know that there will come a day when you will need someone in this family. So we need to treat each other accordingly and not be selfish.
And I come up here and start typing this out only to know that nothing I am saying or knocking her up side her big head is going to make a bit of difference until she is grown and realises what I really said.
I've got several more years to deal with this. Wish me luck.
Til Next time.
