Laundry Wars

So I'm sitting here looking at this pile of jeans in my easy chair in my bedroom going "So like how do I get these downstairs and wash them? Cause I really don't have the energy to make that move right now." Rolling my eyes while I say that.
Not to mention the basket of clothes that is sitting in another corner of my room that needs to be folded and the group of crumpled clothes that just finished drying in the drier.
I feel like I am being run out of my home by my clothes. It's almost as if the clothing themselves are human beings and they have all moved in to take over my abode.
I literally look at the jeans that are lying there relaxing in the chair saying to me "yeah we know we make you tired just by looking at us, that's our job, let us stick around here one more day with you girlfriend."
I consider their request and turn back to my laptop and working on a project that needs my attention like right now. But I look over and I think one of the pairs of jeans just stuck its tongue out at me. What is THAT about I say to myself. Then I lean over and see a pair of undies trying to hangout with the towels and the bras. Oh my goodness they are making fun of me. They think they have won!
No you don't let me take my house back over like right now.
Excuse me ya'll while I kill this laundry


Til Next Time

Mamma

My Recession

I'm going to make this quick.
In my own little recession I decided to add some things back to the pot. It's reall the only logical thing to do really is to keep a couple eggs in my basket. Until other things kick off I will not let my eggs be cooked fried or boiled. I'm holding on to my basket of eggs right now til this passes over, cause it will.

Til Next Time

Mamma

Update On My Reality

Well this is my reality that I will be writing about today. No no no, don't turn away from my page now, cause this is as brutal as it gets.
I'm going to give you some truth cause right now living the clouds is just so not working for me right now.
I am working on trying to pursue my purpose on this planet. In one way or another I think we are all searching for this meaning of life or why we are here.
Before I had my life altering experience earlier this year I was like that but now my desire is much stronger and I feel like I am racing against the clock literally.
I sent a text screaming if you will to my sweetheart who is on the ship. Whining was what I was doing saying how hard this was, or what was I doing, what was the meaning of life or what was I doing?
I mean we all have those days where nothing is adding up nothing makes sense in life and you are just aimlessly going through each day existing not living.
Let me explain. Cause you are probably wondering what in the world I am talking about.
Since I am still in recovery physically, I have not been able to take on much in terms of extra work which is a bummer in more ways than one. But it has past taken a toll on my finances with red notes and letters and calls.
So I was at my wit's end the other day. So I got in my car after I closed down my store which truth be told has wilted, and drove and drove and drove cause there was nothing else that I could do. I did not want to keep calling on someone to bail me out but this was it I had to talk to someone or I was going to burst. No just for the money but just to ask "When does this merry go round end?"
Now at anytime that you want to read happy blogs go ahead. I just want to keep it real because I know that some of you that read my posts are looking for someone they can relate to or just want someone to tell them the truth about how it really is out here when you are trying to do it for yourself.
So back to my story. I decide to go to Bible study. You want the truth? It was no help at all. I asked myself and prayed out loud, "So what is this all about? Where is my breakthrough? What in the world am I doing? Am I really doing what I am supposed to do? Since I survived why am I still making the same mistakes and if I'm not making mistakes then when do I see the results of my work? When?"
Yeah ok make me think I am the only one that has this thought or thoughts? I know I'm not.
Well I made it through the day and then the next and the next. Today I am still seeking answers to what I asked.
Why won't I just give up? Why won't I just cut my losses and pack my children up and move away to a city that will appreciate my education and my skills and my talents and my vision and pay me handsomely for it rather than remaining in this tiny town?
This tiny voice in me says to keep going. The tiny voice says you did hear correctly, you are on the right track, you WILL see the breakthrough, and you must complete this assignment or you will repeat this again no matter where you go. So stay here and make it work for you. Because it will if you faint not.
So here I am looking crazy typing this and looking at where I am physically. But then I think about where I am mentally and spiritually. I am further along than I have ever been. I am bolder, stronger, wiser, smarter, more in tune with what is around me and in me in terms of business and clients and life and all that. So in that I am better. But you know what I am talking about right? Now that I am there, ha how funny I should say that. But now that I am there in that place and space. Now it must manifest itself from that part of me that is in me to the real world. As long as I continue to go forward with the passion that I have for my dream I will see it.
It will show up in my bank account, my living arrangement will change, what I wear will change, how I look will change what I drive will change. It will get better.
A friend of mine said that its not that I am doing it for naught, it is because I am in reconstruction, and since that is the case, everything will look a mess until the dust settles.
So right now I still lean on my sweetheart but that is soon to change and the tables will turn. This is GOING to work.

Thanks for letting me vent!

Til next time,

Mamma

My Labor Day Was The Best

You know sometimes your family can get on your last nerve and sometimes your family when it is all said and done are imperfect, loud, roudy, funny, silly, ordinary people. Wow they sound just like you, they look like you, they laugh like you.
This is a piece of my family I wanted to share from my busy and best Labor Day.
Normally when a holiday comes around that is a time for my family to get together and hang out minus my kids and myself. I stay home and chill relax. But this time I wanted out. I had been invited to several events and went to all of them!
I had a blast. I think I gained two pounds in the process like I need more boobage in my life because that is where it will end up on me is in my chest. But I drank soda and had home made cake my cousin Yvette made. I watched my Pearlie Mae discover you could play the slot machines in real time on a computer instead of driving to the casino in Hot Springs.
I ate barbeque ribs and two hot dogs at my stop in Smackover Park in Smackover, Arkansas where I had never been in discovered the most beautiful houses hidden in this tiny oil town. Who would have thought. I must go back and take pictures and post them so people can see them.
I took a picture with my cell phone of my family with the great "Bigun" in the middle of all of us. I'm kneeling beside her looking like a younger version of my grandmother. I needed to get this because she is in the final stages of Alzheimers I don't even know if she knew where she was or who we were but this was a must. If I could just get that last photo of her where she is sixty pounds lighter and looking older than I remember.
It was a wonderful Monday. From Camden to Smackover to Bearden and back home I laughed and met people and took pictures and posted them to my new Flickr account. It was a lot of fun for me.
Along the way I was able to work directly from my phone to all of the projects I do for people and never miss a beat with being with the people that I love.
How cool is technology? If it can keep me closer to the ones that matter to me then I'm all for it.
For now I offer you my family. The Berry's from Tallulah, Louisiana.

Til next time from my cellie,


Mamma

Work and Play on Labor Day

Labor Day yet again another year! Well I'm not mad about it. So many people are off today enjoying the weekday with family and friends. Welp not me. I have work to do.
Let's see where should I begin,...hmmmmmmm
Website needs updating and I have a meeting with the client I was going to let go since I had not been paid for my services. Now two weeks before the grand opening of their facility I get a call.
I'm cool with that I love a challenge. All I do is pull out all of the paperwork I had for her and got right back to work where I had left off.
This is going to be a challenge working with this firm since they are all over the place literally and I have not been able to lock them down on anything. So I am going to have to make some decisions on my own for them that are of course positive. But I am going to need to get with them today to make sure they see the press release before it goes out and also the ice breaker I set up for their VIP members. This should be interesting.
While I am typing this I just remembered I'm supposed to meet and audition a new DJ today and prepare for this talent show this weekend with a last minute pump to get people to come to this town. Thank goodness for social networking and text messaging.
Then somewhere in between that I'm supposed to meet family for dinner and drinks. Boy is this going to be a busy day.
What I love about my decision to work this business full time is I take my office with me. The Blackberry and my laptop and an internet connection is all in need. So I can work where ever I am.
Curious though,.......just cause I'm there am I really THERE?


Till next time from my cellie,

Mamma

Connecting The Dots

So I went to the this seminar today while I should have had my tail working at my consignment shop and I learned something very valuable.

I bet you wanna know what it is? Well let me tell you.

It was about connecting the dots making everything relate to something else. It was a pretty cool seminar about how the internet is changing the face of media period. How we buy things, how we communicate, how one tweet can make or break a product or company because of how fast we tweet and how fast it gets around. I thought to myself "Wow I didn't think about it that way, shoot I just thought it was a way for some people to goof around online and make friends if they wanted with people they have never met and probably never will."

How wrong of me to think that this machine called virtual reality would be shaping our reality.

Then as the speaker went on he mentioned how the advent of the internet was changing everything from culture, employment, careers, livelihood........(ok put the breaks on)
See that's what I wanted to hear right there. Careers, employment, bottom line, making money. Or was it really about that?

Let me back up to what I am really trying to say as my mind takes me back to making money when I really want to talk about connecting the dots. Which is what I thought this post was all about. Right?

He mentioned how when we are online we need to be careful how we connect the dots since who we are online should really and most times does reflect who we are for real. For instance Facebook, MySpace...we post photos and videos of our lives all over that place. I know I do. I even posted a photo of me my daughter had while I was in a coma. My goodness how much more personal is that? So I started to lean forward as he continued making his point about these dots.

This sharp guy continued to tell how when you are online you need to be who you really are because people are pulling you up before they consider you for hire or for your services. Potential buyers are looking for a personal touch now and not just the product or service you offer. Hell they want all of you. They want to feel like they know you. It's like say for instance I'm in a place I have never been I will at least try to find a restaurant or something that I recognize or "know" so I would feel comfortable and purchase my sustenance there.

So this light went on in my head. It was like ok.........I get it. But who would really care about me, Mamma and my little world? What I'm doing and how I'm making moves in my life? I've never really connected the dots online to all of the places that I am in virtual reality.

Now as I notice that I use the internet more and more and live more and more based what is online the line is blurring and the dots are making a straight line. I never thought about it until I heard it mentioned at this seminar.

So tonite I begin the task of finding me online, and connecting all of the dots so it can make a straight line to ......Me.

THIS is going to be interesting.

Til next time, while I connect the dots and post them here of course

Mamma

Trust and Know

Sometimes you just have to trust God.
Ok there I said it. I finally admitted to the world that I am not in control of my life. I of course have free will and choices that I make but somewhere there is a blueprint for me to follow and no matter what I do in my life, I am going to end up at the destination that my blueprint designed for me. (Some believe that we lay out our own blueprint before we are born who knows?).
See this passion and drive that I have right now for my project just sent me another client. How cool is that? What is even better is that they prepaid for their service one month in advance. This gesture was done at a time when I knew I was doing nothing but making a mistake with the business decision I was making about following my dream.
I literally had turned off the lights in the store and my offices, locked the building and was leaving to give up this silly assed notion I had that what I saw in my mind could actually become real enough for others to believe in it too. I was frustrated and cockeyed hot at myself for even thinking that me, I, MOI, ME could do this thing I'm doing.
That's when my office phone rang. I answered with an angry whisper, pissed that someone had interrupted my temper tantrum I was having with God. But they needed my service and they wanted to do it today like in thirty minutes. I mean they wanted to pay me. Lord knows I needed that cause I was seeing red from each bill I have to my patience level with everything.
God knew what I needed to keep me going or I was going to walk and leave my opportunity. I felt like I was never going to see evidence that I was on to something, but that call did it.
Now I didn't say that I was still wondering day to day "What am I doing?", but what I am doing now is learning that sometimes we don't have to understand, we just have to know, trust, believe.
Somewhere in that the pain will become joy and the rain will become sunshine.
Hmmmm I do believe I see a rainbow over the horizon........



Til Next Time,


Mamma