Putting My Son OUT

I don't know about you but there comes a time in a parent's life and the relationship with each child where you know it is time to begin the cutting of the apron strings.
My two year old is not going to run my life or run my business for me bottom line. I make every effort to make sure that I am at my office at a decent our to work on projects and get things done. Now with a little one in tow that is very hard to do. I am finding myself more and more lately catering to him and his whines and the pleas for attention. I attribute alot of that to his dad leaving as abruptly as he did but now I must take action because my entire day is centered around when he can be silent when he can eat lunch. My poor son does not know that I have business to tend to, clients to see and projects that need my attention. So I have decided to begin the arduous task of seeking out day care.
As I sit here and write this he is finding things to get into to come and tell me about or that he wants water or that he wants fish crackers or he wants a hug. Oh my GOD! I really think that I am about to  go insane over here and I need some help. Call in the babysitters, nannies, grandmothers, and grandfathers! I am calling all of you to seek help because I am about to lose my mind. He is wearing me out and I am finding myself doing more fussing and yelling and changing pull ups throughout the day before the kids come home than I do working.
So I am doing more writing to accommodate him his pleas for my attention. I work on my clients that need phone assistance at night so they cannot hear him when Imani is here to help or she can just be with him and keep him busy. But that is even getting harder to do since she is working for me as well and has projects that must be done on a daily basis.

I don't know about this one I have given birth to. He is not like any of his sisters who were quiet and reserved and if you put your finger to your lips they knew that meant to be quiet. Not this little guy. I am constantly trying to find ways to keep him busy and that does not work. I have moved my office from the front where my Virtual Assistants will work to my office in the rear so that I cannot be seen by him and he get used to me being around. My BBF barks that he should be in daycare. I agree it is SOOOOOO time.
So now the child that would not come out of my womb, the one that I had to send an eviction notice  through my belly button to vacate my uterus and join the rest of us, is getting another eviction notice.
Son it is TIME FOR DAYCARE.

Mamma cannot wait.

Til Next Time,

A VERY FRAZZLED MAMA (Y've)

The Comonique Files Session One

I often think about the people that I have left behind as I went about my life. Lately I have been feeling really guilty about that since I left high school took my infant daughter and moved to Atlanta without a clue. I left you, I left siblings that needed me I ran and kept running til about five years ago. It hurt for so long, the pain and anger was so deep.
I can face it now and tell the truth as I know it so you will know I never meant to leave you I meant to change the bloodline. I didn't know that was what I was doing but I did it and I want you to know you can too.
I am laughing about it now but I think back to those days and wonder what in the world was I looking for by leaving a three bedroom house full of furniture my little blue Chevy Chevette and my low wage paying job.
Oooh I know what I was looking for. I was looking for a peaceful nights sleep, and a place where my crazy family could not find me and ruin my total existence. You know I really mean that.
I literally wanted to disappear but how do you do that when every time you look in the mirror you see the people that you are running from because they ARE you? They are your blood your family and that history runs deep in your veins so far sometimes that things you didn't know about your family you are reliving and you don't even know why. Since you don't know why and what happened you repeat what Mama did or daddy did and so on and so on.
That's what began to happen to me and I had to catch it before it was too late. I saw it began to happen to me when I was about 21 and knew right then and there that something had to give.
What I am not going to tell you Comonique, is that it came to me in a flash. I didn't know per se, it was how I was feeling, it was how I was living and the people that were around me. I didn't like it and I wanted out I wanted something different. That's what I wanted.
More on that later.
Welcome to the truth from me. I want you to know the facts that were given to me. What I know, what needs to be shared with you and with others out there so that they that they know in order to get out of the box whatever that is for them and YOU, you must look at what happened, really study it, cry if you must, hurt if you must, never forget cause you can't, respect what you know, be proud of who you are and live strong.
Here is my story cause you need to know the truth.

For you,

Cause I love you,

(Pic my mom and dad at my sister's wedding)

Your Cuz, (Y've)

Ask Mama Wednesday Jan 20, 2010

Ok this is a simple one here.
I talk to so many moms out there like myself that happen to not be married and handling everything on their own. Most single moms handle it all on their own from the bills, to the clothes to the shoes, food and bed linens, toilet paper and dishes and car notes and insurance and getting kids back and forth to all kinds of activities.
I could go on and on and on about what we moms deal with on a day to day basis.
I spoke with a young woman that is the single mother of five children of which she gets no child support at all. She works at a local retailer and literally cannot get ahead because her entire life is about her children and providing for them. Three of the childrens' fathers are all in prison and she is at her wits end with trying to get the others to pay for their responsibility or spend time with their children.
Her question to me is " I want to have more money to do what I need to do. I want to be able to have more money to buy then clothes or get a better place to live but I can't get their dad's to give me a dime. They say that I will spend the money on getting my hair and my nails done and I make too much where I work to even get food stamps enough to last the month and all I got is Medicaid. I want to go back to school but how can I?"
Well one thing is for sure is I can relate to this.
My response to this poor girl is first off keep your heard up. This is only temporary. I want you to know that I have been where you are and really are not out of the woods yet.
Child support for all of those that don't know is not for the mother to keep herself looking good it is to keep the bills paid, it is to put food on the table and have a place to stay and a bed to sleep in at night. This takes care of gas for the car to get children back and forth to school, games, activities and the like. It helps to support the mother as she is working herself to pay for other things depending on what her income will provide.
Many fathers get this one wrong. I have heard so many fathers refuse to pay child support for some of the most ridiculous reasons and to hear that a mother is going to get her hair and her nails done with his money is absurd. So sadly I say to you and anyone else, time to get child support recovery on the case. What I have learned from my own personal experience is that once you file you must continue to push the issue with your local office until you get results. That does not mean putting it on the case manage but helping in anyway that you can. Showing up and reminding the already over burdened case manager that you need to have that support as soon as possible. I do know that is what worked for me and I am about to head out and do it again.
I am going to go here and admit I have no compassion for a man that does not take care of the children that he has fathered. I am shocked and amazed that many defend their decision to not provide. It makes me sad that they are always trying to find ways to make the mother who is doing it all alone look bad. But that is usually to make themselves feel better about where they are.
Now let me touch on this as well. I don't care that he doesn't have a job. Kids are not to be put on a shelf until you get it together. That is not the way that it works. The children still live and breathe and all of that even when you are not working so I say to anyone out there that knows of a parent not paying child support remind them to get on it. That it is not about the mom it is about the children and what they need and only that. Think about all of the things that mom has to do while you are out and about freely. Oh enough of that.
To the mom with the five children wanting to go back to school. Hey there are online programs that you can apply to if you cannot make it because of obligations to the kids. Correspondence schools are also a good way to go and don't forget that you will be able to get in touch with your local social services office for support for training and education. Most local programs offer free day care and tuition for 6 month programs to get yourself out of retail and into a trained profession. Least that would be something to hold you over til you could stand up a bit more.
I know this is not pretty what I am saying but this is truth. No time to cry just gotta roll up your sleeves girl and get busy.

Well what would you suggest for her?

Come on I know someone has something to say. Positive supportive posts only anything else will be deleted.

Til Next Time,

Mamma (Y've)

Ask Mama

Alright now we have a new segment I am adding to my blog. I call it Ask Mama! I feel like now that someone really IS calling me from college (yes mama has an adult daughter now) and asking me questions there are a few things I can say I can give my thoughts and opinions and expertise on!
I am going to make this topic based on emails that I receive from people via my Facebook page who ask questions about things in terms of being a single mom.
Most times its young single mothers from all over the place who have questions they want answers to.
I am not going to tell you I have the answers to serious situations but maybe there is someone out there that has a problem or question they need to have answered that no one will answer or they are afraid to talk to someone about. Or may they don't have anyone to talk to.
Another thing that I will be doing this year is talking a bit more about myself and where I am from for one reason and this journey to take my self to another level and see major results this year. I feel like in order to do that I have to got to address somethings from my past. Now that does not mean this is going to be a pity party blog this year. I am doing this because I promised someone very dear to me that I would. I will call them the Comonique files this will be for her so she knows she can make some changes and listen to her inner self all along the way of her life.
To some this might be crazy airing my dirty laundry like this but I don't see it like that. It's about showing how you can make decisions to make your life better than what it is and pull on the on the string of life on that cliff you are hanging on to get to the top.
I can only speak of my experiences and no one else. I am not a certified anything so don't try to sue me for my advice or responses. This is my disclaimer.

Til Next Time,

Mamma (Y've)

Celebrating Martin Luther King

It's quiet today in the tiny town of Camden, Arkansas where all of the local town offices and courthouses are closed. You don't see the many people out and about as you would on other given days.
Then as I was driving to my office it hit me. Today is the legal holiday for celebrating Martin Luther King's birthday.
So without a lot of talk which if you follow me you know I am good for...........

Enjoy these videos....

The Dream Speech





To The Dream Today

"Yes We Can"



Til Next Time

Mamma (Y've)

Getting My Money Straight

This time of year after the holidays can be daunting for many that overspent for gifts and entertainment. Well not me this year. Actually it has not been me for some time since we celebrate the Christmas season differently.
I don't buy gifts the kids don't need. They get one need and one want that's it. I just don't understand how so many people can take that time of year and lose their minds on their budgets.
Saving money really needs to be the mantra for so many of us this year. I know for me that I really need to find ways to save money. I mean here is the truth I am single mom with four children and even though I have businesses and make a bit of money having four children and no child support I have to find ways to cut costs.
So here is what I did.
At home I cut bills all the way across. We are never there anyway so why have cable, phone and internet? Unnecessary. So I cut them out. Literally cut them off. That saved me two hundred bucks right there. Then I looked at my cell phone bill. I had both Imani and myself on a plan with ATT which was running me about two hundred fifty per month. Talk about insane. We had plans where I had unlimited minutes and text I didn't even have the internet and Imani had unlimited text along with so many minutes per month. Sheesh. I was walking through Walmart and saw Straighttalk something that Tracfone offers. What's cool about that is I checked on line for like a month and saw that Straighttalk is on the Verizon network so I would get good coverage for less money. For only $45 a month I could get my phone number switched over along with a nice phone. Now mind you it would be better if I could keep my cute phone I had with ATT but saving close to two hundred a month is right up my alley. Now get this here is what is real cool $45 a month get me you ready? Unlimited talk, text AND web how bout that? I just found 400 hundred dollars to put back into something else that my family needs. Whoo hooo!
Groceries that is easy cause we eat a pesco vegetarian diet nothing really changed I just go around the perimeter of the grocery store and steer away from boxed items and all the lovely manufactured foods. Save for my big brother friend's Little Debbie Oatmeal Creme Pies I keep away from the sweets.
Now at my business we keep the internet and since we are here all the time I split the groceries up from the house and here. I know it sounds crazy but sometimes we don't leave my office until I am finished so I just bring the slow cooker and we have dinner in between work. We keep basic cable here as well just for local news so cheap. I am also learning by complete accident that I love Netflix! For just $8.99 a month I can watch movies in any computer here. I love it! I literally love the fact that I can watch movies and my favorite television shows for way more than half of what I was paying for cable service. SMART!
Where am going with this?
When this all hit me at once I thought making these decisions was going to kill me. NOT. I am actually smarter and wiser and know that there is a deal somewhere or something that I really don't need.
Take a look at what you are spending this week and see what can go and what can stay you might end up enjoying this. Keeping more of what you earn?
Who wouldn't?



Til Next Time,

Mamma (Y've)

"Reach For Me" Song for Earthquake Relief......

By now I know that we are all looking at the news and hearing about the relief efforts that have already begun in Haiti to help those who are suffering.
I was beside myself with sadness as friends and business buddies decided that they wanted to help here locally. So what we are going to do here is hold a relief weekend here in town where people can come and donate money and time to send to the local Red Cross.
I wanted to know how I could help online as well with my websites and blogs.
Then I went online and saw this challenge that another blogger put out so I decided to join in the crusade.
You know I don't really do a lot of like super selling on my blog here but I do talk about me having an album out. So I am asking for your help.
I wrote a song called "Reach For Me" on my album "Are You There Yet?"Are You There Yet?....
The song is pretty clear...it represents us. Lean on me when you need me..that's it.
I will be there no matter what and that is what has hit me the the most about how the entire world moved quickly to help by using text messaging and social media like Twitter and Facebook and bloggers talking about it.
I read somewhere that $8 million dollars was raised via cell phone texting. That's a lot of money but there will be more that will be needed in the months and years to come.
All I want to do is do my part the best way that I know how with as much money as I can raise with this song.
Buy "Reach For Me" for only .99 cents and all proceeds from the sale of this song will go towards the Haiti Earthquake Relief Effort.
You will find the link on the right of my blog and I am imploring you to add this song to your play list. Offer the link to other people so that we can help in any way we can.
Like I said ALL proceeds will go towards Haiti Earthquake Relief.......
I think it is a beautiful song with the perfect message for this time that we all share on this earth.
What I will do is keep you all posted on how the sale of the song is going and the organization that I chose to donate to. I want to try and find one that has less staff to pay so the money  can really do more.
I will post more as I find it.
So.......please help,...just .99 cents right now today and I will leave this up for as long as it takes.
Our brothers and sisters in Haiti will need medical care, food, water, clothing and help rebuilding.
Thanks guys for listening.

Til Next Time,

Mamma (Y've)

The Tissa Experiment Day 1

I thought I would take some time and tell you that I am so much like so many of you all out there. I want to make sure there is always a source of income coming in. So I am constantly seeking several different ways to do that. I run several online sites and blogs along with physical businesses and events that I do throughout the year. What I would like to do is more work online that allows me to have a larger source of income.
I started searching online and ran across this guy calls himself Tissa Godavitarne or something like that. Well anyways I kept looking at his site and the program the he offered.
Basically you join his affiliate program for free and you are guaranteed to make $125 your first day out the gate.
Ok well I figure I'm cool with that  why don't I just give it a try and see what happens. So back in July of 2009 I signed up. I had to go through three steps and for those of you have been on the program or in it now you know what they are. I won't divulge them as I am sure there are some privacy issues I would violate if I did that. Well I go through the steps and make the steps to make my first $125 bucks.
Let me just say this. That never happened. I mean I got the $125 yes as promised but I had to wait 45 days to cash out if I was able to make money on top of the guarantee he promises  to give you. So I stopped trying to work the program.
Affiliate marketing is a very interesting ball game and I had been researching it for some time with no luck really.
I am sure once again that I am not the only one who has had issues and problems trying to get the affiliate marketing thing to work out for them. I bought books and ebooks, I ordered programs and lost money trying to learn how to make this passive aggressive income show up in my bank account and paypal account. It didn't happen.
I figured let me just cancel this thing and go on with what I was doing best and tha'ts running my physical business and selling my CD online.
I was able to finally talk with someone that had made money with Tissa's program and she encouraged me to give it another try. 
So I logged back in this week and looked around at all of the new things and support links he has now.
So I am going to give this a try and see what happens. I am still looking through it and seeking out the best way to do this program. I set my account back up and my site is looking well,..cute.
So what I want to do is learn it and share with you the results. I think that would be cool. Why not. I talk about everything else anyway. Might as well.

Til next  time

Mamma (Y've)

Praying For The Best

So far this year I am doing just fine. I know am not the only one but I know that I am sitting here wondering from one minute to the next what in the world could be worse at this moment?
I laugh at that and say nothing could be worse cause really where I am is not that bad. You know sometimes if we just think for just a moment about all of the things that we have going on that looks like it will do us harm, or will affect us....when it happens guess what?
We are still breathing, we are still alive, the second it happens it is over and a new time space reality occurs at that moment and then another and yet another.
Yeah I know that sounds all profound and stuff but many of us know this as just "I will be ok" and nothing more.
Prayer is going to be the thing for me this year. I mean like really top notch priority. Daily before I roll over to slide into my slippers I want to lie still in my bed and take deep breaths and concentrate on talking to God.
Now I know many of you are already like well didn't you do that anyway in all that you have lived and been through? No and yes and yes and no. I had my days like all of us where you were so caught up that you might have said "I don't have time"
This year I cannot do that. I don't have time not to have time with God this year. I need to so focused on my goals and projects right now that my thoughts need to be only on Him for guidance and understanding nad truth in all things.
I need no slip ups this year. Really I cannot afford them. Mentally, emotionally and monetarily I cannot go there and be in a dark place at all.
Right now I look at my situation and say "How in the world am I going to get out of this?" Now don't play and pretend that you have never been where I am right now because you have. What I know is that this place I am in is teaching me how to be still when I have done all I can do. When there is nothing else that I can bring to the table, I am learning to lean on God and trust him.
It's not hard really, but seeing where I am makes it feel like I will be here  forever and I know I won't be because the season will change as they always do. The cold will give way to warm, and the seeds that fell in autumn will sprout and grow and the harvest can begin.
I know. So today and for the rest of the year, God you have my full attention and I am listening.



Til next time in prayer I go yet again,

Mamma ( Y've)

Mamma's A Grandmother Now

I'm to young to be a grandmother! I am not even 40 years old yet and I just found out that I am the grandmother of three!
I think I need to explain that to you a bit.
Imani bought a hamster the other day for her personal Christmas present. She is the cutest white little ball of fur I have ever seen! My big brother friend bought the hamster a cage with a house and little wheel in it for her to run around in.
I named her Pipi. We all fell out laughing cause it fit. She's Pipi.
Perfect, and we smiled.
KJ and Lili say goodnight to Pipi and want to know where Pipi is first thing in the morning. Imani carries Pipi in her little house daily when we come to my place of business and just lets her sit in her cubicle with her. Sometimes this tiny little ball of fur will climb up to the top of her cage and stare at me with her beady little black eyes and I can do nothing but laugh, cause I know she is watching me. It is hilarious and makes me smile.
Imani has such a soft heart for animals as do I. We fell in love with a puppy named Johnson we had that was a gift from Monyea when we lived in Atlanta. But then I grew up with pets. My first pet was a German Shepherd named Prince who was around since I was able to walk and when I was maybe a senior in high school he just walked out the front door of our home and never came back.
Well now let me tell you.
I have been introduced to the cutest little chocolate Labrador puppies I have ever seen. They don't even have names yet but they have been around like three or four days.
I see them and light up like a Christmas tree. One was whining the other day so I picked him up to hold him. Just like an infant would do he stopped, but then the other began to whine as well so I had to put the first one down and pick him up as well. My heart melted, oh my goodness I am in love. 
Imani and I are taking them home today to give them a bath let them get used to us and let them come hang out with us a while too get to know us.
We thought we lost one today since he is a wanderer and almost hurt himself. I will keep the details out since I am a dog lover and I'm sure some of you are too.
You know I am excited about this. About helping take care of and show my little ones Lili and KJ how to take care of something else other than themselves and to learn how to have respect for animals.
Funny, just when you think you are all tapped outta love, God comes and offers you a chance to share some more.
Pictures later as Miss Imani does not want me to post pics of her buddies. WWOOOOOOOOOOOW.
Still I am happy today. Just to let the little guys come in and get warm and get a bath I am happy.
Who would have thought? More happy to add to my happy.
Oops time for toys now!

Til Next Time.

Mamma (Y've)

PS I just stole Pipi outta her cell phone is she not the cutest? 

Until Then.......You Are Here

Happy New Year everyone. It's me again Mamma, Ms. Kemp sitting in her office alone for a change thinking about what this new day in this new year in this new decade really means to me.
So much has happened in the previous year that I must recap quickly.
I had major surgery and lost my life for a brief moment living only by the pump of a life support machine. I lost blood, had three blood transfusions, lost body parts and lost weight.
I lost my consignment store. Yes I let it go but it had gone for some time. I still have the building and I am still here working it out.
I lost money this year, I lost friends either through communication or death I lost some.
I lost the King of Pop yes my first crush EVER.
I lost my long term relationship with someone I love dearly to this day who decided he just wasn't coming back. No answers no whys, nothing just a disappearing act. As if there are not enough men out there leaving families.
I look back on 2009 and weep for all that I lost inside not tears just sadness. Sitting here thinking of what could have been, should have been but wasn't and is not.
Toward the latter part of the year I realised I was someone different. You ever have that happen to you? You just wake up and you KNOW that you know that you KNOW that this is it. The day something different begins. That happened from November to December 2009 I noticed it.
December 31, 2009 completed my 90 day Paradigm Shift. I thought that the shift would be miraculous. I thought I would see money falling out of the sky and my love life restored. I thought my businesses would be flourish. None of those things happened. Something else did.
I became someone else.
Yes. I did. And I like her. She is clear, to the point, strong and resilient. Hmmm. She just showed up all of a sudden out of nowhere.
I am that person now who makes decisions and not wait for them to be made for me. I no longer sit in boxes where people want me. I am the leader in my world an I am not ashamed to admit that.
During my paradigm shift I experienced the birth of the woman I am now. I can see the difference. I don't have time for foolishness and things that make no sense. I don't have time for silly men with silly thoughts putting me where they want me to be. They will have to find me from here on out. I am the wind and the hurricane. They must follow me. That goes for anyone.
The breath I took this morning was so light and airy and I had pep in my step. I was not sad not upset that I made it to 2010. I was overjoyed and clear on what my steps are at this point. I want to live out my life fulfilling my destiny. Focusing on creating and creating more and loving and loving more and living more and caring more and growing and expanding more.
In my shift I realized that as I changed things around me would change. Money, possessions and lots more things like the people in my life and all of that. What I know is I attracted and repelled all at the same time. But today at this moment I am happy. I sleep well since my decision to not wait but be proactive in all things.
So my ultimate goal in life is to be happy. That way I can attract more of the things that will make me happy and those around me. False hope? Well I can either look at the rotten apples and cry or make some apple pies how bout that?
Let me share something with you. Before I woke out of my coma, I saw my mother she pushed me and said "You are not ready".
I wanted to stay but she pushed me again and said "You are not ready". The last push woke me up looking down at tubes coming out my nose throat and neck and arms and my belly. I saw my chest rise and fall.
I remember tears falling on my cheeks and was strapped down so I could not move my hands to wipe them away. I was hurt because I could not stay where I was. I knew at that moment what I was up against. Therapy, bills from everywhere and everyone, a business that I did not know how it was doing and no one to care for it while I was ill, children who were with my sweetheart at the time. It was a lot of strain on a lot of people. Food, clothing, for kids, helping with school and homework all of that.
I remember me thinking throughout the year of 2009 "Why am I still here? When will I get a chance to go back to that beautiful place? I wanna go home"
I can remember only one quote from my mother in my mind "You are not ready yet"
Then a quote from the movie one of my favorites "The Last Samurai" - "Until Then.....You Are Here"
So from that final date they will place on obituaries and headstones for me and in the newspapers about my life I am still working on the dash between that and my birth date.
Gleefully I submit this to you for the new year. Do not sit and wait for the day to come for you to live your life, or be happy or go to school, or make millions, or marry. Until that time you have a life to live. Live your journey, experience in it all that it has to offer you. Learn new things, a new language, change careers, anything that you can think of.....is possible.
Because as the Last Samurai said ...."UNTIL THEN......YOU ARE HERE"

Now live.

I know I am and I want you to join me as I live out loud until then.

Til Next Time,

Mamma (Y've)