Let me explain. You have all of these people that you are solely responsible for so you have to make sure that everything is taken care of. Household bills, car notes, insurance, life insurance, relationships with exes about their children if that be the case and so on. Somewhere your needs get lost in the process.
So when an absent parent is unable to fulfill their financial obligation to a child I find that something that scratches me raw.
I find it hilarious that men or women who fuss about "I don't want to pay for this or that for him/her (meaning the custodial parent)"
That is when the green eyed monster in me comes out. From a person who has been a single parent for well over 20 years without adequate and proper support it tickles me pink to hear people say that they don't want to pay ME for taking care of what WE created.
Let us be clear before I go on my rant, rave and utter of the day. I am fine. All children are supported by absent parents. However it was not always that way.
I was schooled by an older woman when I was struggling alone and in college with two children.
Here exact words to me was this, "How dare you not get what is due to your children. I spent my life giving my children to family and friends because I couldn't take care of them. I ate cornbread and pot liquor because while he was out somewhere eating steak and buying new clothes for another woman and her children."
She went on to say, "If I had it to do over again, I would have taken their asses to court and stood there until they were locked up or in jail. You must never allow your fear to keep you from getting what is due you and your children."
Recently I had an opportunity in my older age to talk with new single mommies out there. Many of them are not able to continue on with college or are about to graduate from high school. All of them get no support from absentee fathers of which every one of the fathers have jobs are in college and have purchased new vehicles and live rather well.
I gently encouraged them of a few things. You cannot sit idly by believing that you will get the support that you need. There is no point. It is evident that you will not be getting what you need from them. What I suggest to you is what was suggested to me. Get what is due and owed to your children.
This is not about you getting your hair and nails done. This is about you providing the best possible care for your baby and the way that can occur is if he is supporting that child financially in conjunction with what you are doing. This will HELP you be able to have extra money from your own pocket to do things you may want to do.
I say to you this; go down to the child support office and apply, register do whatever is necessary to get the ball rolling. Then once the application is in stay in their face until you get what you need.
That child support office has so many cases that yours may get lost so get proactive and find out who is handling your case. Once you know stay on them. Find out the status on a regular basis ask how you can help. Always be professional and nice. Keep your composure when it seems like there is no end to the process because eventually it will be over and you will have what you need for your child.
Normally that will be the much needed financial support and health insurance.
Do not ever allow doubt, non belief or fear to keep you from what is your child's birth right.
This is not about you getting even. This is about you getting the help that you need from the parent that is not there. What this is also not about is getting someone back or causing them problems. Always keep your child or children in the forefront. They deserve the best no matter what.
One last thing. Keep your emotions under control and get what is needed for your children. This is about THEM. Keep that your focus, ALWAYS.
Just some food for thought.
Til Next Time,
Mamma (Y've) Search Amazon.com for child support
