So I know you have probably heard by now how Megachurch pastor, Creflo Dollar was arrested for allegedly attacking his daughter in their Fayetteville home.
I wasn't going to say anything about this event but I wanted to touch on it because I am not going to sit by and read in the blogosphere and talk with people about this and not talk about it myself on my blog.
The conversations have been about how she disrespected her father. When a parent tells a 15 year old child no you cannot leave the house at 1am in the morning to go to a party, that child should obey the parent with no lip and go to bed. Right? Come on now what planet are you living on?
I was not there and I do not know what happened. I can only go by what was said on the police report that is public record. I am just confused about how she went from tears in the kitchen to ending up on the floor? That part confuses me but again I was not there.
Of course I would like to assume all kinds of positions on this. Of course I have heard all of the things about how Pastor Dollar is an abuser and how he needs to be reprimanded for his behavior. I have read and talked to people about how this "pimp" as they call him should not have put his hands on her, whooped her with a shoe, nor wrestled her to the ground and choked her.
(EYES LOOKING UP AND AROUND)
Can I go here and just keep it real? I don't condone abuse. Period. I don't care who you are. I don't approve of verbal, emotional or physical abuse of any kind. This smells like abuse doesn't it? I would think so yes it does.
BUT THEN ....THE MAMA IN ME CAME OUT ...(Ok I asked could I keep it real)
I don't know this man from Adam though I have attended his church on several occasions when I lived in Atlanta. What I DO know is a parent's frustration at trying to reach an intolerable child. I know that. Again I don't know what happened I don't live at that house. Let me be clear but as a parent of FOUR children three of which are girls and two of those who are past the age of 15...sometimes when there is nothing more you can say or do when you have talked, cajoled, begged and pleaded and your blood begins to boil at the belligerent and abstract behavior of someone you BIRTHED into this world, you may not be able to think straight when someone tells you they don't want to talk right now. In the middle of all of the press and media about this .....I thought back to days when I myself got physical with my two eldest and why.
Many times it was because no matter what I said I didn't know what I was talking about. Hell I had never been where they were I had never experienced anything. I just woke up an adult and had the answers right? Mmm yeah ok.
Let's look at some other factors here too. I am putting a roof over your head, I am teaching you fundamental things about being a functioning citizen, I am feeding you, clothing you and loving you unconditionally from the bottom of my soul because you are reflection of me. As a parent you often times think like that. Because you know what? It's true.
Again I do not condone abuse, PERIOD I want that to be clear but you know what? When you are doing all of the above, working hard to provide and make sure that the children you are responsible for are well WELL WELL taken care of based on the resources available to you, and a child is out of control for a certain length of time ...ummmm you just might snap and black out just for a second. I'm just saying. You very well may. I can bet you that is what happened in this situation because as a parent I have been there.
You have done and said all you can. You have been gentle, your words can be firm, you can say no and have valid and good reason....(how bout you are a child that's a valid enough reason right there) but when a child continues to be out of control...and for me that would mean speaking to me wrong ok?...and I HAD YOU and struggling to make sure that you are provided for above even me...and you show out?
Baaaabbbbbbeeeeeeey let me just say this.......I have blacked out too for just a moment. When I came to....children would be in tears, I would be huffing and puffing and their siblings would look on in horror ...as I dare anyone to reach for the phone to call 911. Yes,... there I admit it.
Mind you this has been on rare occasions but when I continue to ask you or tell you no or not to do something and you disrespect my authority...in MY HOUSE? Sweetie we have a problem.
Reading the report it seems to me that Pastor Dollar lost it. He snapped no doubt from just wanting to do what he felt was right for his daughter. But then again what do I know. I wasn't there.
What else do I figure? This kid knew the magnitude of "Daddy's" popularity and made the call to shame him. But then again what do I know?
Here is what's interesting. In the end of it all...abuse is abuse. I don't condone it. Do parents lose their cool and go to the end of their rope not knowing what else to do to reach an unreachable child? Yes that happens I outta know.
Let's not pretend that we have not been there nor that we have children that cannot be reached. Physically abusing children is different than spanking we know this.
I just know for me I have been in that position where all else has failed and you think of the moments you sacrificed for this child and now you giving me lip? Excuse me?
I love my children ...believe me I do. I know Creflo Dollar loves his as well but even we as parents being the human beings we are don't have all of the answers. We don't have a rule book that we can go by to tell us how smooth rearing children is going to be. THERE IS NONE.
One thing I know. When the smoke clears, when its all calm again and we and the media get out of their face the one thing that is going to happen is this.....she will become a woman. In that will be more challenges that only one person can help her with. Daddy...and one thing I am certain of he will be there like I have been for mine that are adults now.
Parents are not perfect, yes we lose our cool. No there is no certain rulebook that says not to black out when you give up. Don't lose your cool, keep your wits about you when your child has disobeyed for the umpteenth time, when they have cursed you out or raised their hand at you in the house you are paying for so they can have a roof over their heads.
Moms and Dads are not perfect. Is physical abuse being condoned in this piece? No.....I'm just saying this father who loves his children lost his cool for a few seconds and now he is about to suffer the repercussions of it in public. Let us not pretend that we too have not had a moment where we blank out just for a few seconds.
I am no ones judge or jury. If there is abuse.....get help as a family and address it. Period....same as me...I did get help. Seriously I really did because perfect I am not. NONE OF US ARE.
Til Next Time....
Y've
The conversations have been about how she disrespected her father. When a parent tells a 15 year old child no you cannot leave the house at 1am in the morning to go to a party, that child should obey the parent with no lip and go to bed. Right? Come on now what planet are you living on?
I was not there and I do not know what happened. I can only go by what was said on the police report that is public record. I am just confused about how she went from tears in the kitchen to ending up on the floor? That part confuses me but again I was not there.
Of course I would like to assume all kinds of positions on this. Of course I have heard all of the things about how Pastor Dollar is an abuser and how he needs to be reprimanded for his behavior. I have read and talked to people about how this "pimp" as they call him should not have put his hands on her, whooped her with a shoe, nor wrestled her to the ground and choked her.
(EYES LOOKING UP AND AROUND)
Can I go here and just keep it real? I don't condone abuse. Period. I don't care who you are. I don't approve of verbal, emotional or physical abuse of any kind. This smells like abuse doesn't it? I would think so yes it does.
I don't know this man from Adam though I have attended his church on several occasions when I lived in Atlanta. What I DO know is a parent's frustration at trying to reach an intolerable child. I know that. Again I don't know what happened I don't live at that house. Let me be clear but as a parent of FOUR children three of which are girls and two of those who are past the age of 15...sometimes when there is nothing more you can say or do when you have talked, cajoled, begged and pleaded and your blood begins to boil at the belligerent and abstract behavior of someone you BIRTHED into this world, you may not be able to think straight when someone tells you they don't want to talk right now. In the middle of all of the press and media about this .....I thought back to days when I myself got physical with my two eldest and why.
Many times it was because no matter what I said I didn't know what I was talking about. Hell I had never been where they were I had never experienced anything. I just woke up an adult and had the answers right? Mmm yeah ok.
Let's look at some other factors here too. I am putting a roof over your head, I am teaching you fundamental things about being a functioning citizen, I am feeding you, clothing you and loving you unconditionally from the bottom of my soul because you are reflection of me. As a parent you often times think like that. Because you know what? It's true.
Again I do not condone abuse, PERIOD I want that to be clear but you know what? When you are doing all of the above, working hard to provide and make sure that the children you are responsible for are well WELL WELL taken care of based on the resources available to you, and a child is out of control for a certain length of time ...ummmm you just might snap and black out just for a second. I'm just saying. You very well may. I can bet you that is what happened in this situation because as a parent I have been there.
You have done and said all you can. You have been gentle, your words can be firm, you can say no and have valid and good reason....(how bout you are a child that's a valid enough reason right there) but when a child continues to be out of control...and for me that would mean speaking to me wrong ok?...and I HAD YOU and struggling to make sure that you are provided for above even me...and you show out?
Baaaabbbbbbeeeeeeey let me just say this.......I have blacked out too for just a moment. When I came to....children would be in tears, I would be huffing and puffing and their siblings would look on in horror ...as I dare anyone to reach for the phone to call 911. Yes,... there I admit it.
Mind you this has been on rare occasions but when I continue to ask you or tell you no or not to do something and you disrespect my authority...in MY HOUSE? Sweetie we have a problem.
Reading the report it seems to me that Pastor Dollar lost it. He snapped no doubt from just wanting to do what he felt was right for his daughter. But then again what do I know. I wasn't there.
What else do I figure? This kid knew the magnitude of "Daddy's" popularity and made the call to shame him. But then again what do I know?
Here is what's interesting. In the end of it all...abuse is abuse. I don't condone it. Do parents lose their cool and go to the end of their rope not knowing what else to do to reach an unreachable child? Yes that happens I outta know.
Let's not pretend that we have not been there nor that we have children that cannot be reached. Physically abusing children is different than spanking we know this.
I just know for me I have been in that position where all else has failed and you think of the moments you sacrificed for this child and now you giving me lip? Excuse me?
I love my children ...believe me I do. I know Creflo Dollar loves his as well but even we as parents being the human beings we are don't have all of the answers. We don't have a rule book that we can go by to tell us how smooth rearing children is going to be. THERE IS NONE.
One thing I know. When the smoke clears, when its all calm again and we and the media get out of their face the one thing that is going to happen is this.....she will become a woman. In that will be more challenges that only one person can help her with. Daddy...and one thing I am certain of he will be there like I have been for mine that are adults now.
Parents are not perfect, yes we lose our cool. No there is no certain rulebook that says not to black out when you give up. Don't lose your cool, keep your wits about you when your child has disobeyed for the umpteenth time, when they have cursed you out or raised their hand at you in the house you are paying for so they can have a roof over their heads.
Moms and Dads are not perfect. Is physical abuse being condoned in this piece? No.....I'm just saying this father who loves his children lost his cool for a few seconds and now he is about to suffer the repercussions of it in public. Let us not pretend that we too have not had a moment where we blank out just for a few seconds.
I am no ones judge or jury. If there is abuse.....get help as a family and address it. Period....same as me...I did get help. Seriously I really did because perfect I am not. NONE OF US ARE.
Til Next Time....
Y've
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