My Only Constant

So in the midst of everything that is going on in my life right now I learned that in order to be better I have to BE better. That's kind of hard to explain but I think every once in a while we all come to that place in our lives where we know we can no longer be where we are.
Now that can be a lot of places. It can be where you live, where you work, where you worship, where you hang out and commune with others. It can mean a lot of things.
Here is the aggravation is all of this. You cannot make this be about anyone else but you. Let me explain. Let's say that you are in a circle of people and you are all dealing with issues of one level of drama or another. Well you have to look at you and no one else. This is your journey, not theirs and guess what their journey belongs to them. This is not a race to the finish line. This is just plain old life and as long as you are living you will live life.
Right now I am kind of preaching to myself as I watch others live their lives the way they chose and I live mine the way I chose mine. I am seeking this turning point right now that will be my signal for change or signal for something new to be seen or occur in my life.
So of course in the midst of it all comes these questions that plays in my head over and over....."You are too old for change, you are a mom you can't just pick up and keep moving, get somewhere and sit your behind down, why can't you be happy with where you are right now and not rock the boat? Things are good. Who do you think you are trying to make changes to your life, be glad that you have what you have and you are able to do the things that you are doing."
Yeah ok so I hear those things and yes I understand that maybe a scared me would react by going somewhere and sitting down. But you know what  the true me, the me that is the fighter the one that wants only the best for me is going to keep rearing her head and saying this "I deserve the best I want in my life for me and my family, so what if I want a great relationship with someone that wants to be with me, so what if I want a great, rewarding career and all of the things that come along with that. You know what yes I want to stay in a career field that I love and make it work for me so what! I deserve what ever experience that I so desire and its ok for me to want that!"
So I am doing something called deliberate creation. I want to create the new world I want to live in and I want to be clear on what it will be. So I am grabbing my pen, my crayons, my stickers, my markers, my glue, my thoughts and imagination and making a deliberate attempt to make a change in my life by being creative in my mind first.
I'm on this mindless banter right now that once I am done typing this at four in the morning will make sense to probably no one but me....and that is ok...sometimes you just have to talk to yourself to get you to the next level of your life or maybe just to get through the day itself. Or just that moment.
Give me some credit ......my only constant that keeps me grounded is this...CHANGE....

I am grateful to know that it too comes.






Be easy,

Y've